on parenting sick kids

take my pancreas... please!

I am a difficult person.

Somehow, my parents had the capacity to keep loving me.

I don’t know how they did it, but by god I’m so grateful.

Now, I have a child who is struggling - dealing with the realities of a chronic life threatening illness.

This child is private so I won’t identify them.

And?

The hell and horror of having a sick kid who’s fighting the diagnosis, fighting treatment all while fighting to stay alive?

It hurts so much.

There’s a humility that comes with the powerlessness of having your heart torn open.

I know this from watching and wondering if Laura is going to live.

I know this from the pain of watching my child suffer.

This isn’t killing me.

It certainly isn’t making me stronger either.

In the darkness, the bright side of things is so far off specks of dust look brilliant.

Life isn’t fair.

No one can make it that way.

We can however walk hand in hand - as far as the grace of God will allow us.