on nascar and equestrian sports

and developing horsepower

Today, Pam’s late. She’s a week late.

Our daughter’s riding coach is having a baby.

It’s super exciting.

Well. It would be great if Pam were having her baby right now given that her baby is behaving much like a library book. She’s overdue.

This past week we were at our first ever big deal horse show thing.

We went to a couple of horse shows last year. They were of the smaller deal variety.

These events are like rivers in the back woods. They have their own particular flows. There are rapids. There are calm sections. There are little eddies to get caught up in.

Pam knows these waters well. At prior shows Pam was able to ground myself, my daughter and the Barbie pony just by being around. She’s super caring and reassuring. She’s an outstanding coach. She’s ready to be a great mom.

At the horse shows last year, Pam really helped ground us. She helped us understand the flow of the day. Pam helped steady both my daughter and the Barbie show pony. But overdue? She wasn’t able to do that last week.

We did not expect her support. We expected her at home resting with her newborn. And? Without her helping us along, her absence was really apparent. Having said that, she wasn’t entirely absent. She was present in a different way.

Pam, is so dedicated and loves the sport so much that while three days overdue, she came out to watch the two girls she coaches ride. She wasn’t able to play the same role she normally did. She couldn’t help us navigate these new waters. I really missed her.

We had tonnes of support. And Pam has had a relationship with my daughter in one form or another for several years. It’s very clear to me that my daughter is just as connected with her coach as she is with the Barbie show pony.

I first understood equestrian sports to be about the bond between the horse and the rider. It seemed simple. It’s less simple that it appears.

The rider and the horse have a relationship. They have ways of communicating with each other. The rider knows the horse and the horse knows the rider.

It goes further though. The rider knows the coach. The coach knows the rider. The coach also knows the horse and the horse knows the coach. The coach knows how the horse and rider connect with each other.

I’m curious how much the horse can pick up on the relationship between the rider and the coach.

Pam, the pony and my daughter are a team. Horsey sports seem to be a lot like NASCAR. In NASCAR, it’s more than just turning left. A lot of precise, detailed work goes into developing a top performer. NASCAR is a team sport.

Individual equestrian sports are much the same. The hose has a farrier, a barn, staff at the barn, a wonderful barn owner (who is a fantastic fill in coach who has created a little slice of magic). The owner of the horse is the wonderful and generous. The Barbie Show pony even has his own massage therapist to keep him moving well.

A lot goes on behind the scenes. There’s much more happening unseen than most people realize. A strong relationship with a great coach is powerful.

Where has having a coach helped you? Where have you done things that seem like you and a horse vs the world when in reality, you’ve had an overlooked partner in your success.

A final note: One of our daughter’s first riding instructors is a ‘coach’ in a much more essential way.

She’s a support worker in schools. She and her colleagues are in school support workers. She’s on strike, fighting to earn enough money to be at the poverty line. She’s on strike fighting to have her wages come closer to that of a Costco employee.

We need her back at work supporting disabled and neurodivergent children. Without her and those like her, those kids aren’t in school.

I wonder how much they miss their coach these days too.