on getting hit in the nuts

in praise of cruelty part 1

When a man is hit in the nuts - either by ‘accident’ or on purpose, there is only one suitable response: Laughter, followed by mockery.

That’s it.

Getting hit in the nuts is not funny.

No one wants this.

And?

This is why it always, must be funny.

As someone who rides bikes a lot and, whose testes have not yet met a crossbar they don’t want to get far too close to far to, I can attest to the very, painfully lack of humour in the crushed plum experience.

Despite having compassion and empathy for men with mashed grapes, this ‘compassion’ can only emerge AFTER the laughter, after the mockery.

Why?

Because.

A man’s testicles are small, weak, delicate and fearful.

Though prone to swinging and enjoying a nice breeze on their moist elephant like wrinkled skin whilst engaging in acts of pleasure, a man’s nutsack wasn’t really created for adventure.

A man’s plums do very little most of the time. They get in the way. They cause others discomfort when men publically take the necessary steps to rearrange the…