on getting carried away by spirit animals

and the subtle art of biting people

SPIRIT ANIMALS!

People sometimes have described having a strong connection with a type of animal - as though they imagine they have an embodied connection to that animal.

Some men are dogs, others are bears.

I have an old crow living next door.

I know of someone who tattooed a seahorse on her chest as she felt an affinity for a steed she’d never ride.

I wanted that kinda cred.

I wanted that kinda cool.

So ya know what I did?

I tattooed a gargantuan octopus on my arm.

I don’t think of it much these days as anything more than a waste of time and money spent listening to grind core and pretending that I was tougher than I actually am.

Dude who tattooed me had all of the bedside manners of an angry, hung over horney pirate whose cabin boy had run for the hills.

The tattoo?

It’s still not complete.

My problem with imagining that I have a ‘spirit animal’?

No, it’s not ‘problematic cultural appropriation’ aka cultural adaptation and evolution. Naw, fuck that noise.

My problem with spirit animals is that…