on drinking from a garden hose

do you spit or swallow?

The young ladies were all showing off their special, expensive, coveted water bottles that are all the rage these days.

I hate bottled water. Even more than that though? I hate those bespoke cantines and water bottles that have been all the rage over the years.

I am a drinking fountain fan.

I’ll drink outta the sink in a public washroom if thirsty enough.

With their fancy Eyephones and their fancy glued on eye lashes, I needed to give these bimbies an eye opening.

When was the last time you drank from a garden hose?

They replied by recoiling.

Drink from a hose? That tastes gross - it’s all warm and rubbery and disgusting.

This sums up pretty much everything that’s wrong with the raised on tech younger generation.

They are plastic, polyester and virtual through and through.

Everything comes to them in an instant. Or an insta or a snap.

We used to go for coffee and talk.

Now?

Their talks are prefaced with ticks.

You young ladies just don’t get it. You’re either too stupid, too impatient or a bit of both. Every fool knows that before you drink from a hose you gotta let the water run for a good five minutes in order for it to taste right.

Still not convinced, they returned to their vanity chats about saving the planet by purchasing Chinese made refillable containers that will be landfillabel as soon as the fashoon changes - which will likely be round about the time they need fresh eyelashes.

Flabbergasted - that’s how I felt dear reader. And given my flabbergastation, I remembered a saying from long ago.

It’s rather problematic in its use of language, but therein lies its charm. It’s one of those cross the line kind of sayings that a someone more wise than yours truly would know better and therefor keep to himself. But, once a fool, always a tool. So here’s my verdict on these over pampered princesses: You can lead some whores to water but you can’t make them think.

Mean eh?

Sure. And the fact of the matter remains the same:

Summertime satisfaction comes from patience, persistence and letting the water run.

Thanks for your time and attention - from one hose sucking fool to another!