on delightful violence
and the joys of being six
The universe sends us people.
Yesterday at a horse show, I met a six year old boy.
Well, we met before, but this is the first time I had a chance to meet him in six year old world.
It’s been a while since I’ve been in six year old world.
I’ve missed it.
He had a plush toy and was demonstrating what it could do. It seemed pretty damn powerful. I asked if I could try playing with it. He, being a very nice young man, agreed.
Unfortunately this ‘Sonic’ character was far too mighty. He overwhelmed my slight, base humanity and flung himself from my hands and knocked me clean off my feet.
It was disturbing.
What happened next was worse.
Everything started flying up and smacking me in the face knocking me to the ground: water bottles, candy packages, my hat - even a package of apple sauce all assaulted me.
To make matters worse, that kid was laughing at me the entire time. IN FACT he KEPT ASKING FOR MOAR VIOLENCE.
What the hell was wrong with this kid?
Why do he love violence so much?
He kept laughing so much that he began to bray. His momma - a horse momma - commented that he was starting to sound like a donkey. She suggested that perhaps he could go live in the paddocks to keep the other horses happy.
All this did was ramp up the laughter. The laughter then amplified this boy’s lust for violence, for me to continue to hit myself in the face with a plush toy then fall to the ground.
I do not like to disappoint six year olds.
By the end of my time with him, battered silly by sonic, I was exhausted.
Ideally though? I’ve contributed to the creation of a monster. The kind of monster who, when he approaches fifty, will be able to slap himself in the face and fling himself on the ground for the shared delight of young laughter.
If you haven’t spent any time with a six year old lately, go find one to be around, I suggest a trip to ‘six year old world. They make your face sore. They’ll wear you out. And? They’ve also been known to cause a warm swelling of the heart.