On deciphering emoji on a snow day
big yellow thumbs up to throbbing digital produce
It’s a snow day, dear reader!
I am grateful.
It’s on days like this that my wife and I dive into the really big issues.
As an example here’s a recent conversation:
Someone set me that hug emoji. WTF does that mean?
Laura scratched her head for a second.
That can mean a lot of things to a lot of people.
Not enough, I thought.
Naw. There’s a place where you can look stuff up and find out the meaning. Apparently a yellow ‘thumbs up’ means you’re racist.
Laura’s eyes got big.
Really? I use that emoji.
Smugly, I found my opening.
Well then dear, you’ve not done the work. You must be a racist then.
She wasn’t having it.
You use the same emoji with me. And you know better?
I smirked.
Of course I know better. I just don’t want people to think that I know better. I want them to think that I’m some old guy who doesn’t know his emoji.
Laura shook her head.
And have people think you’re a racist?
I laughed.
Yellow thumbs up emoji aren’t racist. Millennials who find racism everywhere are just irritating. It’s a good way to filter out the dipshits. But I still don’t know what the ‘hugs’ emoji means.
Laura shook her head.
It gets used by women a lot. Moms use it a lot too.
I still didn’t get it.
Emoji are stupid.
Laura pushed on.
Well, you know what the eggplant emoji means don’t you?
I laughed.
Of course I do. Why else do you think I send you them so frequently?
Snow days are for decoding life’s mysteries.
And sometimes, for sending your wife an eggplant.
Because nothing says ‘I love you’ like throbbing digital produce.
👍🍆🍆🥰