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When the alarm bells in my body rings, I’m always quick to spring to action.
My father was a first responder. He would wake at the sound of a pin drop, springing to action.
Emergencies required urgency. First responders are frequently urgent responders.
Our first response is regularly an urgent one when we see suffering.
I’m a lot like my dad. When I see my wife or children suffering, or if they have a complaint, I used to spring into action as if I were facing a four alarm fire.
You’re sad? I NEED TO FIX IT! MAKE IT BETTER MAKE IT BETTER MAKE IT BETTER!
The though howled through my body like a siren.
Sometimes?
The best way to make it better is to just sit there. Just listen.
Then?
Then ask: Is this something you want help with or do you just need to be heard?
That’s a tough thing to do - to merely sit there and listen to someone, especially when every fiber of our beings screams out for us to leap. It’s really tough to do nothing when it feels better to act. It’s so difficult to sit as a witness when we think of ourselves as being Mr. Fixit - the action man!
When we want to grow, heal and connect it’s just as important to be a container, a place to just listen to those we love.
When we can?
The action of doing nothing can be more heroic than running into a burning building.
The fire will burn itself out eventually my brothers.
on containing the fires
Letting the fire burn...a primer in recovering from codependency.