on being a sensitive man

and making public adjustments

Underpants are truly uncomfortable.

Sure, I’ve seen the ernest adverts by groups of men who claim to have solved this problem.

I even have a pair of their manties.

And?

They do not work.

I’m not sure if it’s a sizing thing.

Are my dangle handlers too small?

Are my man bits too big?

Or are they merely anarchists that love to roll into un-possible positions?

Perhaps my arse crack is to attractive.

Why else would my piss catching pants always seem to want to ride up there.

Either way?

I spend a lot of time touching myself.

No.

Not in an auto erotic way.

But in a ‘readjusting the camera lense way’

Not to get a ‘new shot’ but in order to make things more focused and sharp.

I’m not shaking things around down there - they aren’t big dramatic actions, but when a man stuffs his hands down his pants in public, it pulls a lot of focus.

So today my wife asked a question in her partially helpful, partially corrective way:

How are your balls?

My answer to that?

Well, there’s only one right answer when someone asks abou…