on beginning the day with a 'reverse ahab'

and when two wrong answers make everything right

The morning began with a hug and a cuddle.

As we parted, I slapped her arse, just for a bit of fun.

I’m only half fat she said.

Darnin’, you’re not fat, you’re big boned - That’s how I replied.

And do you know what’s remarkable dear reader?

I was shocked when she sent the broom harpooning down the stairs at my head in a full on ‘Reverse Ahab’.

Gentlemen, whenever a lady makes a comment about the size of her body, it is ALWAYS a trap.

There is no correct answer.

But?

I tend to go for affirming of whatever any lady says about her size.

Most times?

I get it wrong.

But that’s really what they want - an excuse for righteous indignation.

So,

In reality?

The wrong answer typically has the correct result.

Just don’t take the outrage seriously.

It’s performative and ultimately hilarious.

Stay foolish you fiends.