On a life of service

of the moustache

It has come as a surprise to some of you that I now have a very well formed moustache that inhabits a place below my nose and above my upper lip.

This is more than a fashion statement and even more significant that a lifestyle choice.

This moustache has made me a member of a top secret, incredibly powerful, fraternal order, of which I had no idea even existed.

Even now, I have the moustache silenced, covered and sleeping while I type this foolsletter. If it were to know that I were sharing some of the order’s hairy secrets, it would quickly lead to my total annihilation.

Moustaches are powerful

Recent surveys have shown that Americans with moustaches earn 8.2 percent more than those with beards. They earn 4.8 percent more than clean shaven people. The moustache is seen as a sign of both assertive masculinity and sexual perversion.

What’s not to like really.

I just can’t believe it took this long for me to find one above my lip

Here’s the secret behind the stache

When you wear a moustache and y…