On a life of service
of the moustache
It has come as a surprise to some of you that I now have a very well formed moustache that inhabits a place below my nose and above my upper lip.
This is more than a fashion statement and even more significant that a lifestyle choice.
This moustache has made me a member of a top secret, incredibly powerful, fraternal order, of which I had no idea even existed.
Even now, I have the moustache silenced, covered and sleeping while I type this foolsletter. If it were to know that I were sharing some of the order’s hairy secrets, it would quickly lead to my total annihilation.
Moustaches are powerful
Recent surveys have shown that Americans with moustaches earn 8.2 percent more than those with beards. They earn 4.8 percent more than clean shaven people. The moustache is seen as a sign of both assertive masculinity and sexual perversion.
What’s not to like really.
I just can’t believe it took this long for me to find one above my lip
Here’s the secret behind the stache
When you wear a moustache and you are part of a group of select individuals. We are the follically gifted the world. Is not fair. Not everyone can have a great moustache. And because of this, I'm gonna just love my moustache. I give thanks and gratitude to the moustache everyday.
I no longer exist as a father, therapist, son, friend, surfer or writer anymore. No I am one with a moustache and as such, my life is dedicated to the service of the moustache. Those who serve the mustache, get serviced by the mustache
Or served by the moustache. You serve the moustache, the moustache will serve you. The moustache has supernatural powers. It is not an entity unto itself. A moustache is part of an ‘other being’ of unspeakable size and power.
I was recently at a horse show. There were very few of the moustache there. But one fellow I encountered had one. His name was Jeff. Jeff with a moustache and a lot of horse people talking to him. Poor Jeff. It was a horror show for the poor man. He was being attacked over his moustache. Jeff was valiantly defending his moustache to a group of young fans.
As a person with a moustache, I needed to intervene.
Jeff was riding a very young horse. I could tell he was a brilliant rider with a very, very challenging horse. This was from what I could tell. I'm not a horse person. I'm a moustache person. I serve the moustache. One of my brothers was in distress. An intervention was necessary. I interrupted the assault.
Excuse me people, but I really must intervene. What’s your name sir?
Jeff, he replied.
Hello Jeff, that’s a lovely young horse you’re riding. It seemed to refuse when you were directing him into some jumps. I know that the usual horse person answer to that issue is ‘more leg’. Jeff, you’re no longer a horse person. You’re a moustache person. Instead of more leg, next time, try more moustache.
The same can be said for pretty much anything that you're involved in. Next time, don’t try more. work, effort, time, dedication, passion, money. Add more moustache. In doing so, you’ll connect to a mysterious power much greater than yourself.
This post was not written by Jim, but by his moustache, Bernard.