on a blustery drive home

and stoping global warming with your sphincter

Good afternoon dear reader!

I dreamt about a y’all last night.

Well.

No one specifically, but I dreamt that I wrote as I passed out at 9pm on the couch.

It was truly Friday indeed and I was in need of a rest.

Typically, I’ve been able to rest while the truck drives back from the Valley.

But last night was different.

Last night the wind did blow and the truck did rattle and heave.

Ricky, I’m a bit nervous about this. Have you ever driven in 110 km/h winds like this?

Ricky, my driver has close to a decade on the roads. Ricky didn’t care.

I’ve driven through blizzards and high winds before, but nothing this strong.

That wasn’t entirely reassuring. I persisted, hoping he’d get off the 100 series highway and take one of the back roads home. Sure, it wouldn’t be as fast but it would be more relaxing.

Ricky wasn’t taking the hint.

You know, they’ve closed the bridge to heavy and high sided vehicles like this one.

Ricky was still short on fucks, So?

Do these delivery trucks ever get toppled over in a high winds like this?

Ricky hammered the throttle and the six litre engine roared as we climbed a hill passing someone in a Kia like they were standing still.

Naw. Not that I’ve heard. If you want, I could let you out here and you could walk home.

Ricky was a prick. Thank god for that.

Fuck off Ricky. Just get me home alive or I’ll burn your fucking house down.

We both laughed and sped off through the night.

As we drove on, there were times it felt like we were going to lift clear off the ground.

Not to worry though dear reader.

I was holding on.

I held my arse into the seat. I held on to the bar in front of me with a Vulcan death grip.

I held on with parts of my body that I didn’t know were capable of holding on.

I know that neither my clenching nor the our father’s that I was muttering under my breath had no impact on the wind nor Ricky’s driving.

But that wasn’t going to stop me from trying.

And in the end?

We made it home.

And me?

I was exhausted from all of the work I did to keep the truck on the road.

Next?

I’ll make sure that I keep the planet cool and spinning!

Remember fool, even when what you seek to accomplish is physically impossible, it’s always a great idea to exhaust yourself with the fantasy that you too can have an impact on the world.