oh my change is hard

on the fear of success


It happens however we try to change.

Resistance sows itself so completely into our entire being we’d be more likely to rid the world of dandelions before we could uproot and eliminate the different weeds of resistance from our lives.

New things, people, situations, sensations and the stories we tell ourselves?

They’re all scary.


Yeah. A threat. If your normal sucks, something that sucked less and felt differently? That’s new. And what’s new, is a threat to what was. And that? Scary. A lot of change can feel anxious until what’s strange feels normal.

Change, in this way is not unlike a new, quality pair of shoes. Sometimes, I just want them. They take a few times on the feet to feel just right. And when they’re done, I only want to get a new set of shoes like that again.

So that’s what I do. I put myself in shoes that I know might be tough to break in. The same shoes over time? Cherished favourites. Breaking them in sucks. Of course. Any major change you’ll ever make is like getting a new, perfect pair of shoes.

The resistance sucks.

It creates a remarkably foolish con-dum-dum (there’s a joke about conundrum in there dying to be hatched… someone, please save me, create that joke in email it to the president)

Still with me?


The remarkably foolish conundrum is thus: In order to feel better you might need to feel worse.

Positive changes in your life?

They’ll likely cause you to feel way more anxious than you ever have.

Congratulations. That’s fear.

Now, it seems, you might have something to lose.

Discomfort. Anxiety. Distress.

All associated with finally feeling safe?

Absurd and

Foolishly reasonable.

Fear, from an evolutionary perspective, is super reasonable and important. The energy in our body gets going. We get some chemicals released. Our brains fire quickly. We’re READY. Perhaps too ready.

It’s really inconvenient to feel fear, to have an activated nervous system when it’s not super necessary. Learning to deal with heightened sensations? Not something they teach in school. How could they? Based on my experience working in schools, teachers don’t know to regulate their own damn nervous systems. How fair is it for us to ask them to do that for hundreds of angsty teens daily?

And? It’s something we can learn. First step?

Let’s start with a remarkably foolish video…

Remarkably Foolish Video of the Week

This is a surf video. This is also an exploration of youthful exuberance and joy.

This is beautiful - freedom and pleasure. Where do you have freedom and pleasure?

Where do you have room to shout? To roar? To abandon?

These folks have found it in the surf. Can it be done elsewhere?

What happens when you cultivate joy?

Remarkably Foolish Playlist

One Derful Thing

The Dog - Tom Selleck.

Find someone walking a dog.

Ask them to tell you their dogs name.

Tell them if you had a dog, you’d name it:

Tom Selleck


Because it has a hairy chest.

Just like Tom Selleck.

See how many people you can explain this to in the run of a day.

For a bonus point - the extra moustache - suggest that the dog owner immediately change their dogs name to Tom Selleck.

This is weird and too far out.

Danger: Tom Selleck is not likely to approve of this activity.

Go back to footage of him from the 80’s.

The man was a walking moustache, hairy chest and an oh my god what a charismatic smile.

What would it be like to play this weirdo game?

Who can you conspire with to play a game of Tom Selleck in a park.