my life is an overgrown garden

on creating rules for unruly growth

Let’s begin today with an odd question dear reader:

What’s your most despised garden tool?

For those of you who lost a partner to infidelity, I’m anticipating a response of hoe.

Some of you may find a rake problematic.

While the racially intolerant out there will avoid touching a spade at all costs.

My shed is filled with tools of all shapes and sizes. I don’t discriminate.

But there is one tool that I’m not too fond of.

Me?

I hate lawnmowers.

Those damn things cut everything evenly. They are profound agents of conformity and uniformity. Their creations are so boring they might as well be public schools or the culture of any corporation.

I work with a lawnmower of a man. Recently I was telling some of the other wait staff about how Nova Scotians communicate about temerature to some tourists from Texas

Today it is hot. If it were a bit warmer we’d say that it was ‘sum hot’. The next level is right hot. After that the weather is even hotter than that? We’d call it right sum hot. And the days that…