Moron Weaponized Flatulence
Weapons of ass distraction
Loud public farting is one technique to get more space when people are standing closer than you might like. Other anti-social techniques include sneezing, faking a coughing fit and blowing snot rockets as you cross the street.
Weaponized flatulence doesn’t have to be so extreme, fluid filled or gross. Sometimes weaponized flatulence happens when we act disagreeable or say contrary or controversial things either turn people off from us or to test to see how much they are willing to take.
Many people weaponize their stink. This shameless behaviour regularly comes from a place of shame. Shame, fed to children often enough from a young enough age eventually becomes a gross part of who we are. Shame, when it becomes part of how we define ourselves goes from something I’ve done, to something I am, to I don’t matter, to I don’t exist.
Weaponized flatulence is a way of saying: I’m here offending you so you don’t reject me. You can’t, I’ve done it already.
Weaponized flatulence when done unawares lacks pleasure and agency. It’s a painful, compulsive way of being that isolates people further. This isolation deepens the shame experience.
The antidote?
Awareness.
I know! Awareness is the magic Pixie dust that seems to make everything better.
Acting like an asshole? Combine two parts compassion with one part embarrassment with a pinch of awareness and let simmer till ready. Add salt to taste.
And?
The ability to be offensive, on purpose, with pleasure can be fun. It can be a superpower. It can be a way to create boundaries, to put people off balance or to buy some time to make a decision.
Weaponized flatulence performed with awareness is a way of recognizing social norms and choosing how normal you want to be. Weaponized flatulence performed with levity and awareness is a great way to test the ‘rules’ you have for social norms.
For example: It’s considered impolite to fart loudly around others. Some would be mortified with embarrassment if they did. Their shame would be such that they feel like dying. And yet I have yet to stumble accross any cases of people dying because they farted loudly.
So, what’s a rule / social norm / belief that you think is dangerous or shameful? Where and with who could you test and see how terrible this is?
Here’s a challenge: What’s a little shameful? What’s a little naughty? What’s a little too far? How can you weaponize your flatulence to the point of a BB gun or a slingshot?
How can the things that embarrass you or you find shameful be something to play with? How can you take the sense of ‘I don’t matter’ or, ‘I don’t exist’ and find freedom in having lost yourself in the shame?
In the context of the Upper Canada in which I was raised, women get a lot of their power from being the police of shame and social norms. Think about the tales of Robertson Davies and Margaret Lawrence...so breaking social norms publically is a greater transgression for women. Homer Simpson and all the characters like him can behave in appalling ways and somehow they are charming. Marge has her own failings but they are very different than grotesque bodily functions.
So based on socialization, for a woman to transgress, it takes WAY less...and the fear of punishment is WAY more powerful.