Moron Shame

It's just so insidious and distasteful

“Let me go grab that for you”

“I’ll go grab you a bottle of Veuve Cliquott and be right back”

“Can you grab me a burger?”

Grab.

The word looks as ugly as it sounds.

And yet, everywhere I go I’m forced to face this insidious intrusion on everydayspeak.

“Can I grab you a bag for those?” I hear at the grocery store. No, thank you. They would then be grab-bags and I’m quite content with what I’ve chosen. I don’t need any random, grocery store misc thrown into my home in a grab-bag fashion.

That’s not the worst of it. The word ‘grab’ knows no limits, material or otherwise. It’s not enough for a server to ‘grab you a glass of water’.

(grab me a glass of water? How does that grab you? grab me? moistly, it’s annoying)

Now, they want to ‘grab your name and number for contact tracing purposes. Grab my name? How. Exactly. Is. This. Done? Is there a special tool for name and number grabbing? Perhaps we should order a nameandnumbergrabber - it’s a German device created to grab names and numbers in one e…