Little Red Solo Cup

of piss

I worked for quite some time

As a a hack of hacks.

I was an wedding DJ.

Well, I was pretty damn professional really. But the music. The art wasn’t about the music. It was about reading and playing to the crowd.

It was a party job. We were there to have fun. So fun we had.

Occasionally, I would be required to play a song about a red plastic cup. This typically created a stir. It made people happy.

For many people, a red solo cup provides them with a somewhat warm feeling.

For me? This is no longer the case.

This is the story of the contractors secret

I’m a terrible boss. I couldn’t fire someone even if they were beating me up every day.

That’s not true. But. I’ve always felt held captive by contractors.

One particular contractor - George - was introduced to us as a good guy

A friend of a friend.

So we trusted him.

He did pretty good work.

Though he was slow.

(he liked to drink his Labatts while on the job)

For the whole time he worked for us? We never noticed him going to the toilet. This should have been a sign, a warning perhaps.

Eventually I discovered it. The contractor’s secret.

A red solo cup. Brimming with warm piss.

On the floor. Beside a wall.

I’m hoping he forgot to pour it down the drain.

I’m hoping that he didn’t do what’s been rumoured

About elevators

And trades people

And coffee cups

And wall cavities

Is this not clear?

At least this cup was plastic. Take out coffee cups? They are like ticking time bombs. Filled with piss, they likely occupy many of the spaces between the walls in every new building going up. Eventually they fail. Eventually they leak. Eventually their contents become part of someone’s home.


Back to the point. Red Solo Cups - they may signify fun to some. To me? They make me imagine like the walls of my home are bleeding piss.

So. No. Not fun.

I will never drink from your red cup.

The sensitivity of the clown, the comic, the leader?

So, it is important to always be sensitive to the fact that what may seem fun to you, stinks of piss to someone else. And? What stinks of piss to you might be fun to someone else.

Someone else like Rodney.

One Derful Thing

Gotta go.

Sometimes endings of conversations linger much longer than we’d like.

Frequently it’s easier to force ourselves to get off the phone quickly when we feel some biological urgency. The call of the toilet is both profound and immediate.

Today? When you want to end conversations, end them with the immediacy, authority and clarity you would if you urgently had to answer natures call.

How many people did you offend?