Laughter and Resilience Part 2b

When we can't laugh

There are times when we can’t laugh.

When there have been urgent, critical health situations with those closest to me, I tend to get frozen for a few days.

I’ve been frozen with worry about one of my cats for about four days.

It’s been horrible for both of us.

My cat has a tube up his penis = super uncomfortable.

I’m worried about him = super uncomfortable.

Yesterday, the fear broke and I found some pleasure in joking about it.

Though still afraid, I’m feeling lighter.

I love my cat.

And now I can joke about it.

too soon?

My wife was home with the cat. She had more time to process. She attempted to joke with me about his situation. I wasn’t ready yet.

That’s the thing about comedy. It’s relational and is dependent on the other person you’re with.

It takes a special kind of sensitivity to make heavy, dark jokes.


It also takes a willingness to be wrong, cross relational boundaries, potentially hurt people and apologize.

That’s right.

If you’re attempting to make jokes you risk hurting people. This is true whether the intent is malicious or filled with goodness. There’s a simple rule. If no one is laughing, take the hit and move on to the next joke.

One Derful Thing

As a thought experiment, pretend that tomorrow you are leaving.

Where are you going?

Who knows.

No internet.

No phone.

No more contact with this life?

Where are you going?

How do you spend this day with people?

You know that you’re leaving, they don’t and you can’t tell them.

What does the day look like?