it's almost my birthday and

they're still playing baseball? This is not ok.

I see a lot of hoopla about baseball.

Despite my every attempt to never know anything about this game, it sticks itself in front of me when I attempt to scroll through for hockey or basketball content. When it comes to baseball, I’ve got a chip on my shoulder and also one of my front teeth.

As a child I was never one for baseball

I wanted to like baseball. Baseball didn’t like me.

Sure, baseball’s a sport, but people talk about ‘the spirit of the game’ when it comes to baseball. That spectral motherfucker did not like me. In fact, the spirit of baseball taunted me at every turn.

Baseball has brought me nothing but pain.

My first injury as a child happened when an adult tooth, snapped off mere months after it had grown in. I got hit in the face playing catch with my dad. It was a total accident. I remember sitting in the tub afterwards. It was a hot day. I was shaking. My parents were kind. They helped me calm down. Though I would feel completely unnerved every time my tongue touched where …