in the end

Mr. Book goes to the editors

hey, it’s me, Mr. Book. I realize that you’re reading this, not listening. But if you were listening? You’d have to listen extra hard. Pretend to listen hard. Lean in.

Notice what happens when you lean in. Hell, if you’re not leaning into me, lean into your coffee, or your toilet.

Now that you’re leaning in? I’m trying to sneak this one past the editors.

You really need to be careful around editors - especially if you’re a book like me.

My editors? They’re great. Generous. But still? They use judgement.

THEY ARE WITHOUT MERCY!

dang!

(ihopetheydidnthearmewhenIshouted)

They are killers. Baby killers.

Don’t tell me you’ve never heard the term ‘kill your babies?’

Well, that’s what editors get paid to do. They commit infanticide. Daily.

You’ve got to be a special kind of cold hearted fool to be a good editor.

But my editors are¹

Oh my. My editors are here. I think they may have been here all along. What?²

How did you? We were whispering! Did my shouting wake you up?³

Am I in trouble?⁴

Ok. We can discuss …