In praise of a hard, throbbing mic

I’ve been living a lie

I’ve been hiding my whole life dear reader.

Sure, I may seem a fairly public, out there, personable kinda dude - like the kind of man who might do well selling cars or in real estate.

I’m a charmer. It’s easy to get people to both like me and do stuff when I turn on Mr. Handsomepants.

Let’s be honest for a moment. All pants are handsomepants when they’re covering my ass.

You see, I’ve been experimenting.

I’ve played around.

My whole life, I’ve spent time exploring and dancing around the edges of who I really am.

But in fact dear reader?

I’ve spent my entire life in the closet.

In some cases, I’ve done it at weddings.

Other times, I’ve shown up in front of families and children.

Those are the times when I’ve really taken things far too far.

But now?

Well.

I’m not sure how to proceed.

How do I tell my wife?

How do I tell my family?

I thought that maybe the thrill of meeting people as a tour guide may satisfy my craving.

But that work has done little more than to make me hungrier.

I have a deep yearning, s…