I'm worried about my cat

Why do we end up with pets anyway?

Having a pet cat is weird.

These carnivorous creatures,

Cute and cuddly?

Sure.

And they’re just waiting for you to die so they can eat your eyeballs.

One of my cats is currently in hospital.

I know. Terrible.

What’s worse?

He’s got a catheter up his penis.

Notice your body as you read those words.

Did you squirm?

He’s flowing smoothly now with the catheter.

Before that?

Blocked.

Unable to pee.

That cat and I have a lot in common.

He loves being outside.

I love being outside.

He loves peeing outside.

I love peeing outside.

He does not like having things shoved up his penis hole.

I too do not like having things shoved up my penis hole.

With that in mind I’m worried about my cat.

What’s worse?

He’s got some disease that they don’t have any idea how he got it.

And that’s one of the biggest problems with having a pet.

I asked him.

Hey buddy, how’d you get sick?

All I got back was some slow eye closing and muted purrs.

I guess I wouldn’t be that talkative with a glass rod shoved up my penis and into my bladder.

Veterinarians are not right human beings.

Who was the first to get the idea to do some of these things.

Who thought to themselves:

Ok, we’ve got a cat here, that can’t pee, let’s shove a glass tube up his penis and see if that helps.

Who gets up in the morning and decides that I have small creatures with small openings that I would love to explore with glass tubing?

Who gets up in the morning and thinks: Coffee. Breakfast. Check m’phone. Shove a glass tube up a penis. Satisfaction.

Anyone who has had anything done to their genitals must be able to follow me.

And for those with a penis here?

The notion of having something shoved inside it might seem like completely the wrong answer.

And?

I have no mercy for you.

I have witnessed my wife giving birth.

At first?

The room was filled with people.

My wife was lying there with her feet up and legs spread.

People were just standing around like it was a construction site.

It’s as though they were there fixing a water main break.

All standing around. Smoking cigarettes. Kicking the ground a bit. Saying yup a lot.

The doctor comes in.

Everyone gets a look.

They feel around a bit.

Is there a baby there?

Yup there’s a baby there.

Mom is dilating?

Yup.

Is it coming out yet?

Not yet.

Ok!

They all shake hands and agree to do it all again in ten minutes.

And this is only for special events like birthdays. When you don’t have a penis, you have to do this once a year to stay healthy.

So. In that way I don’t feel too bad for my cat.

I still would love to know why he is sick.

Based on my studies with Doctor Google, I’ve determined that my cat is likely sick because he’s stressed.

That’s right. My cat is stressed and that made him sick.

Him being sick has me stressed.

I’m so stressed that I’m worried sick too.

That’s another way that he and I are alike.

We’re really sensitive to stress.

One big difference though?

If someone comes at me with a glass tube and wants to shove it up my penis?

I’m fighting back.


One Derful Thing

Floating and gliding are different things.

A recent One Derful Thing was to find occasions to glide with words and how we physically move.

Now, we’ll float.

Gliding is direct.

Gliding is directional

Gliding is smooth and sustained.

Floating?

Floating is how I feel as I’m waiting to find about my cat.

Floating is an indirect action, it is smooth but not sustained.

Floating does not have direction.

How can you / when do you float either with words, thoughts and actions?

And tomorrow?

I’ll let you know a bit more about how the big guy is doing.