i'm terrified of surfing

confessions of an addict

I’m terrified to go surfing.

For some this seems entirely reasonable.

I know what you’re thinking

The water is cold. There are sharks. Waves look scary to those who haven’t surfed. Who knows what lurks in the ocean’s murky depths.

Did I mention sharks?

That’s not the scary part.

There’s a lot more to surfing than merely looking hot in neoprene and getting royally pitted.

Sure, there’s little as satisfying as paddling in, popping up and carving my way along a wave to the beach.

Surfing is surprisingly political. There are pecking orders, status games and negotiations. I never realized how much my weird wiring made the social aspect of wave riding about as appealing as being fed my own asshole. Appetizing? Not so much. That’s not the worst of it. It’s not the scary part The most terrifying part of surfing?

It’s an addiction. Like gambling, it’s unpredictable. It offers randomized rewards and like any other addiction, it eventually kicks you in the nuts.

If surfing was a person it would be the …