ill fitting crutches
Each morning my phone flashes me memories. They arrive as welcome reminders of the wealth of my existence. The children that I share my world with are, and have been, quite delightful.
Today’s memory was about more than the photo. On this day, one of my children was marching and chanting in the most hilarious way. They were saying things that were fairly embarrassing and funny. I will spare them the details and frame it for you differently.
We were in the school yard. Some of the parents started looking at each other nervously, awkwardly. It was as though the oddity of what was happening somehow infected the bunch of them at a felt level. They all seemed to come to the same realization and judgement at the same time.
I could feel the recoil in their bodies. I also saw the delight of my child. My child whose behaviour was creating a mass felt sense of awkwardness. These are the moments where a person gets to define themself as a parent. Society has expectations for how people behave. Society has its expectations of how we fit in and they are frequently agreed upon and transmitted both preverbally and unawares.
Knowing about societal expectations, I did the only thing I could. I proudly got up, and joined my child in their humiliating, embarrassing and awkward marching chanting action. Some parents got red. Some laughed. A couple left early with their precious little snowflakes.
But my child? They were supported in their awkwardness.
We can all do this for each other. We can be like ill fitting crutches. We can awkwardly support each other in our awkwardness.
We can be embarrassed with each other together, glowing with the panic sweats at the edge of humiliation and delight!
So, go and be remarkably foolish. Find someone who is at the edge of embarrassment.
How can you support them in their embarrassment as opposed to protecting them from feeling embarrassed?
How can you join them awkwardly in their awkwardness.
How much awkwardness and embarrassment can you tolerate?
I’m devoting 2023 to finding and registering the Remarkable Fools of the world. For Remarkable Fools, what was once an embarrassing or awkward, is now a thrilling leap to a life more fulfilling. How will we find the fools? A series of pop up live talk shows where the audience are also the guests. Highly interactive and playful, you’ll laugh till you cry or cry till you laugh.
"Society has expectations for how people behave."
Fuck the fucking fuckers.
I wanted children who would change society from the inside. I wanted them to be people who felt so loved, so entitled to be who they are, that society would have to make room for them. I wanted them to change society for the better rather than be moulded, by it.
They are good people. I hope I has a hand in that. But truthfully, I didn't want to mould them either. I just wanted them to feel supported and loved. I wanted them to be stories that I started that write themselves.
I wanted them to be great stories, interesting stories and I want to be surprised. They are fabulously and unapologetically who they are and society is richer for their presence.