I didn't write about the cat on the leash

what would you have written?

I encountered an If I Were You on the way home one day.

A man walking his cat on a leash. He was letting it explore an enormous pile of furniture, discarded and waiting for a new home by the side of the road.

I heard it before I saw it: If I were you I wouldn’t let my… Nails on a chalkboard. There are few things more repugnant to me than the call of the “If I Were You…”

Then I saw it - an If I Were You, screeching out in broad daylight. Its beady little eyes fixed, lemon lips pursed with disapproval, talons tut tutting disapproval, all fueled by a black hole of disappointed I told you so’s

It was so nasty the word bitter found it bitter.

If I were you…

Who asked you anyway?

If I were you?

That’s a big if.That’s a magical if.

If, I were you.

If? The answer to every If I Were You is right there in the ‘If”.

That’s the flaw. 

If you were me you wouldn’t be you. You’d be me and I’d be walking down the street watching with delight as your cat climbed the curb treasures. 

If I Were You? You’re not me. P…