how to lose your moustache

and come to your testes

It’s been hectic lately dear reader.

I’ve had to do a thing or two that under normal circumstances required me to have a bit more gravatas, a bit more authority - in reality?

I needed to have a bit more of a moustashe.

And yet?

There wasn’t one.

Oh sure, I had a strained upper lip. Neither stiff nor shrouded in hair it was like the little moustache that could. It was chuggin up to my nose panting I think I can… I think I can… I think I can…

But still?

It couldn’t.

I mean, if my power were derived from my moustache, and the hair just wasn’t there, what was I supposed to do?

Take for example a recent occurrence.

A working dude was being pretty darn shitty to the seventeen year old boy we had working the door one day.

He wanted to park.

But he was asking to park on land that we didn’t control.

The young man was handling himself well, being polite to this increasingly irate man twice his age.

But when the dude got belligerent and started raising his voice at one of my guys?

It was time for my moustac…