How to cook a kitten
Humans not let I get cat.
New plan, need:
Cast iron skillet.
Hire road crew to fix road
(sneak out, dig hole while humans sleep)
Once road crew arrive feed catnip to kitten
Lure kitten in front of pavement roller.
(use catnip for this)
Once kitten flat, transfer from road to skillet with spatula.
Add salt to taste.
(invest in patience. Proper conditions may take time)