I'm hot 'coz I'm fly
You ain't 'coz you're not
This is why, this is why
This is why I'm hot
Mims: This is Why I’m hot
It’s difficult being humble when you’re as cute as I am.
It is.
My entire life, people have remarked on how fantastic I look.
Ok.
People?
My mother.
She’s always told me how damn handsome I am.
And my wife?
She regularly tells me: You’re lucky you’re cute.
I used to ignore her or let that comment just kinda roll away with self deprecating humour.
Lately I’ve been changing my tune.
My responses now include: Damn right I’m cute or You’re lucky that I’m cute, or Luck has nothing to do with it. Do you have any idea how much effort I put into being this cute or Cute? I’m not cute. Puppies are cute. I’m hot. Hot as the sun baby.
Sadly these responses don’t go over so well.
So what does a fool do when somethings not working?
We double down on what we’re doing.
(of course)
Now, instead of waiting to be called cute, I encourage my wife to notice how cute I am and to ‘check me out being cute’.
Then I tell her how lucky she is to have such a cute husband.
This of course does little to charm her.
But.
Instead?
She started hamming it up, and saying to me Oh look at me, look at how cute I am.
She does this while making cute faces and sexy poses like Derek Zoolander’s patented Blue Steel.
And every time she does this
I get excited.
Like really excited.
It’s almost as though the act of pretending to be cute, and wearing the masks of sexy and saying the words ‘I’m really really really really good looking’ makes you better looking.
Funny eh?
She told me that she’s cute and I believed her.
I love it when she tells me that we’re rich beyond our wildest dreams.
And when I look around and see our kids and our animals and the family who love us?
I don’t just believe her, I feel it deep down in my core.
Pretty cute eh?
Now go pose in front of a mirror you fool.