How to avoid finishing your book

How to stay stuck creatively

Make coffee.

Make some more notes.

Try to decipher some of the things your editor wrote.

Begin watching a compelling dystopian series on a streaming service.

Meet with people to discuss ideas.

Stay on top of your finances.

Grocery shop.

Cook.

Make up stories about ‘stuff you need’ in order to move forward.

Make some more coffee.

Play with the animals.

Get stuck.

Come up with lots of ideas.

Come up with more ideas than you can possibly explore in a day.

Weigh the relative merits of each.

Don’t leave your computer.

Make a big mess with your notes everywhere.

Make it look like you’re working.

Notice how close you are.

Underestimate the time you need to finish.

Don’t chip away at the last few pages, insist on finishing them in a big final push.

Get back into that dystopian show on the streaming service.

Pay attention to the pets.

Dream up other ideas of things that might work better than the book you’re writing.

Get in touch with someone to talk about those things.

Clean up.

Steam-clean the furniture.

Clean the oven.

Dust the baseboards.

Manufacture some conflict and drama.

Feel guilty about wasting time.

Make more coffee, watch more streaming.

Avoid all creative tasks.

Come up with excuses not to exercise.

Stare at the screen for hours.

DON’T TOUCH THAT KEYBOARD YOU’LL LIKELY BURN YOUR FINGERS!

Fall asleep.

DON’T DREAM YOUR IDEAS ARE LIKELY BAD AND WILL BURN YOUR BRAIN!

Wipe off the counter.

Attempt to get control of pet hair.

Clean the cat litter.

Buy groceries.

Make coffee.

Don’t bother to eat though.

Feel sick.

Get into bed and shake for a while from too much coffee.

Sweat it out.

Pick a fight with a being from a different dimension through a time portal.

Try to determine which of an infinite number of possible timelines this one is.

How did it all end up at this moment?

The darkest timeline?

The most absurd timeline?

The most apathetic timeline?

And finally, make more coffee.

Listen to the wind.

Watch the crows.

Shop online for something you don’t need.

Stare more at the keyboard.

Make a list-post called how to avoid finishing your book.

Then blame the vegans.

Sure. It’s the vegans' fault that my book is not finished.

I am not sure how it is their fault. They do seem like a convenient target right now.

Now that I’ve found a scapegoat, I can get back to work.

I can write something that blames vegans for distracting me rather than working on my book.

Damn vegans.

How do you avoid?

Who do you blame?