How long is your beef string?
More stories from the road
Ah dear reader,
We’ve been at this thing a while eh?
All of this writing and reading stuff?
It’s been going on for almost five years.
Five years!
What more can I tell you?
I’ve been experiencing a bit of this lately with my driver, Ricky.
We’ve spent more time together than we have with our respective spouses.
In the last two weeks we’ve spent more than a hundred hours together.
A hundred hours of riding side by side!
For the first while we spoke excitedly about common friends, ideas, dreams and our pasts.
Now though?
As two men, we’ve settled into a bit of a working rhythm.
We say many of the same things at the same time in the same place each day.
And those things mostly relate to customers we either like or despise based on shovelled walkways, kind dogs or other package particularities.
Outside of that?
We often sit beside each other in silence.
But dear reader, there are times when things break, when our masks slip and some true intimacy shows up.
It’s a rare thing, this inter-male intimacy, but if men spend enough time together, it does emerge.
Today was one of those days.
Ricky started:
Back when I was in high school, I could hork a strand of spaghetti up through my throat and out of my nose. Then I could pull on one end from my mouth and the other from out my nose like a kind of fucked up dental floss. It felt really weird.
Incredible right?
Not to be outdone, I added my part.
Once, when I was a kid, I ate the string from a roast beef. It didn’t digest. Instead, when I took a shit the next day, one turd was suspended from my arsehole by the string. I had to reach down and pull it out. That felt weird too.
It seems that I won. Ricky nearly put the van in the ditch he laughed so hard.
That’s so fucking gross!
I was a bit worried for a moment.
Did I go too far?
Naw, not at all. It’s on brother. It’s on.
It’s been a while since a dude and I have had such a wonderful moment of connection.
Male intimacy is a wonderful thing doncha think dear reader?
Who knows what will come next.
Remember, from boredom comes great depravity.
Stay dirty you fools!