I have always sucked at baseball.
They throw the ball and I’m supposed to smack it out of the air?
Naw, I don’t think so.
You alway get a couple of swings of the bat before you get to go and sit down and watch the game again.
Yesterday, I took a swing at getting an idea into the world about wild wiring. I got distracted by the fun in front of me. I ‘missed the ball’.
Yesterday’s post was an example of wild wiring and how it works.
Yesterday’ post was an example of how everything takes me longer due to distraction.
I wanted to tell a story that took place when I was younger. I attempted to ‘set the scene’ but then got hung up on the number seven and the year seventy seven.
In any moment, on any project, that’s how my brain works. I could be going in one direction for a bit, but then some sort of amusement - like jokes about the number seven comes up. When that happens, the original plan gets forgotten. On to the next thing.
This is a clue, a hint.
This is for you if you’re curious and suspect that you might be wildly wired.
Or
If you know an adult who has always seemed to struggle somehow and no one can explain why.
Perhaps then, they might know sooner than I did about being wildly wired.
I really wish I would have known sooner.
Knowing how my brain has structural differences and therefor functions differently has allowed me to create accommodations for myself. I don’t need the world to adjust for me. I don’t need to adjust for the world in order to ‘fit in’.
Knowing isn’t about ‘fitting in’. Society sucks and our culture as it stands is currently garbage. I want no part of ‘fitting in’ to the world created by HR turds and marketing departments convinced by the righteousness of the delusions fed to them by depraved activists.
Wild wiring has impacted how I attempt to survive. I used to try to please others in order to be accepted. It was impossible. I’d lose control and get blurty. Or, I’d merely be excited and therefore embarrassing to the people who I knew.
Gex X pre-hipster dweebs regularly had punk rock or alternative pretentions - they operated with the pretense that they are ‘cool’ or ‘leaders’ or ‘influencers’ or somehow elite as they worked in media.
They were independent thinkers, punk rock rebels who all believed the same thing, went to the same places, listed to the same music and wore the same grunge inspired uniforms.
If I had known I was ‘neurodiverse’, they may have been a bit less mean and a bit more kind.
Their eyes likely wouldn’t be quite so strong.
I’ve caused more than a few eye rolls in my day…
oh shit.
it happened again.
I may have just been distracted again by a rant.
That’s what happens to us wildly wired.
Luckily, I didn’t finish the post from yesterday describing how much I hate the numbers six and nine.
They look like little turds with tails.
Turdpoles
Like tadpoles made of poo.
Perhaps tomorrow I’ll be able to tell you how people missed my wild wiring.
I can certainly tell you how I did.
I was too distracted and impulsive - so busy following my bliss, I was distracted from the fact that I was distracted.
It’s happening again - I’m attempting to tell you something from the beginning of the ADHD journey. Instead, I’ve jumped to the middle.
This is the second swing and a miss.
(Might as well stick with it eh?)
Third pitch is coming tomorrow…
Can you sink in and just enjoy who you are?
Can you withstand the pain of not belonging?
Love the people who love you.
Fuck the fucking fuckers.