honesty in sports and laughter

stick your polite giggles where the turds come from

I love sports.

They are just so damn honest, even when people cheat and break rules.

In hockey one might slash an opponent or trip them behind the play.

In soccer a player (frequently Italian) will flop around like they’re shot in order to draw a penalty even though they were not touched.

These acts of deception?

They serve a purpose and they are part of the ultimate goal - ripping the head off your opponent and shitting down the hole.

When I ride my bike, I’m always competing when I’m commuting. I’m playing a game similar to those status games we all engage in unawares.

But it’s not sport.

Again, sports are more honest than that.

I don’t only look to dominate when I’m on a bike. In any group, I am possessed by a singular goal. This is true no matter where I am and with what company I keep. Simply put, I want to be the funniest motherfucker in the room.

And?

If being the funniest motherfucker isn’t valued?

I’ve got no fucking interest in being in that room.

Working in restaurants, there are no sh…