Holiday gift ideas

a guide for billionaires

Hello my fellow billionaires.

Thank you for stopping by.

This is a particularly difficult time of year for people like us. Though we have the power to purchase anything for anyone at anytime, our holiday presents fail to delight those closest to us. Most difficult of all can be finding a thoughtful gift for your rival billionaires. I’m here to help.

Given the hourly rate your money earns while you sit idle, there is little more valuable on this earth than your time. With that in mind, the most thoughtful gift you could give someone would be made by you. But what craft should you make?

Oh sure, you could merely commission Jeff Koons to make something for you. But then you’re merely paying him for his time to pay someone else for their time. When it comes to contracting out work and paying less for a job, you’re already pretty good at that. Now it’s time to try something new.

Begin by noticing what people like. People seem to like ornaments. Though hidden most of the year, they’re everywhere…