Yesterday we began our tour of the theatre backstage. There we glanced around at some of the things our brain does whether we want it to or not. What we want? Our will? It really doesn’t matter. Today? We’ll look at some of the hidden motors that power the rude mechanicals of our lives.
We are all powered by hidden motives, feelings, impulses, and information. When we react to someone based on a feeling, like anger or sadness, and it might not actually be the person we're reacting to. Well, if some in this pandemic land happens to step on your toes, any anger is likely justified. And? This persons’s also likely a lovely dumping ground for any of your disowned aggression. Deserving? Probably not. Convenient none the less…
Then there are those people
You know those people
A couple of things about those people that I need to clarifly before I go ahn.
Everybody knows and everybody judges those people.
to someone else.
But those people? They could remind us of someone who hurt us in the past somehow. If you see someone and they’re always getting under your skin you might want to stop for a minute. Who do they remind you of?
Or better yet, say to yourself:
How am I this much of an asshole?
You’re one of those people
Suck it up sunshine.
Often we don't process these hidden motives consciously. There is no ahah moment of ‘Oh, that’s not him who I’m reacting to. I’m treating him like he’s my dad!’ When we don’t process hidden motives intuitive, emotional impulse from that can have us turning people who aren’t our parents into our parents, and people who are not our siblings into our siblings. You get the picture. Hidden motives when left unchecked can be powerful and create really confusing family dinners.
Our emotions, in this case are the hidden motors of the rude mechanical patterns of absurd behaviour we get stuck in. And? Given how rudimentary these motors are, we can divide them easily into four foolish subgroups.
Plus Fear - (right here is where I need my editor to remind me to write about where fear goes in this model if I’m not making it an emotion)
These foolish subgroups come from polar opposite actions. The come from ways of moving.
They are: Laugh, Cry, I love you. I hate you. The emotions in this remarkably foolish model are all variations of Happy, Sad, Sensual / Sexual desire, and Anger!
So, in addition to all of the preverbal stuff that’s around, we’re also regularly experiencing emotions. Emotions are more than simply rude mechanicals. Emotions are the music of the theatre. Emotions and music are so often connected. With really Super sensitive people, it's like their emotions are turned up to 11. They can’t help but feel everything very acutely. Others are a bit numb to the music of their emotions.
Either way, our emotions unlike music are neither good nor bad. They just are.
We can learn to listen to our emotions like we listen to music. Some music is more challenging than others. Same with experiences of being alive. Some emotions that ‘feel bad’ or are characterized as ‘bad’ emotions are neither good nor bad. They just are.
Sold a bill of goods
It’s funny though, more and more I see people who’ve been raised to believe that it’s somehow an urgent emergency that they are not happy, unsatisfied, anxious or uncomfortable. Not being happy all the time is a problem. They are really intolerant people. Or at least seem ill equipped to tolerate disappointment.
These people? These people have been convinced that they are entitled to be happy. All the time. And other feelings? Other than happy? Bad. Bad feelings. Bad feelings start first in our body. Then? They go straight to our brains where we create a story to go with the feeling. Sometimes the story goes like this: I don't feel good so I must be either a) doing something wrong, or b) just bad myself, if I feel bad I must be a bad person so I deserve suffering more or c) I feel this shit feeling so I'm entitled to do ANYTHING POSSIBLE to make it go away.
Bad feelings, or feelings other than happiness? They are not a judgment of your character or instructions of what to do next. They are simply information. Do with it what you will .
Next? Writing on where to place fear in this foolish place as well as how a shit separator can work with our emotions.
One Derful Thing
Be one of those people
One of those people who walks around with a notebook
Pay attention to every emotion you can experience in a day.
Make a note of which of the four major emotional food groups it falls under, ie: annoyed - angry, amused could be close to happy or aroused…
How many subtle emotions do you experience?
How easy or difficult is it to place them under one of these three places?