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This past Sunday, I was busted by an eight year old. I was mucking out, assisted by a young girl at the barn. She asked if I had ever ‘been on’ the Barbie dream pony that my daughter rides. This was a problem as my daughter was near by. Did I tell the truth or lie?
I did neither, insisting instead that I did not want to answer that question. The squack of objection crowed out quickly WHAT? DAD! YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU RODE HIM. DID YOU RIDE HIM?
I sweat easily. True to form a bead of it began trickling down my forehead. Well darling, I wouldn’t say that I ‘rode’ him.
Her eyes got big, expression cold: Did you get on him or not?
I was totally busted now. I don’t lie. Yes. I got on him and we walked each direction around the indoor arena.
My daughter was incensed: HOW? WHAT? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME? How will I ever trust you Dad?
The truth was simple. I was on the horse in March. We walked around a bit. My daughter, who the horse is essentially for, found out last. She was pissed. Why did’t you tell me Dad?
I didn’t tell her because if I did, she’d complain. She’d be angry and she’d scold me. I did not want that. It was fun being on the Barbie Dream Pony. He’s such a good boy. I didn’t want my experience of pleasure that might have caused harm but didn’t become tainted by someone scolding me about all the ways things could have gone wrong.
My daughter thinks that this is sneaking, dishonest, treachery. You do this all the time dad. You eat the chocolate chips and leave none for cookies. Even worse, you don’t tell anyone that you did it.
Worse still? I leave the bag there, standing in such a way that it looks unopened. People get half batches of cookie batter prepared then end up running out to the grocery store. This is the havoc my dishonesty inflicts on my family.
It’s truly terrible.
It is! It’s not considerate and sneaky.
My daughter is correct.
And?
Sometimes a little something sweet, or saddle time is just what the doctor ordered. Telling people that I did something that they would disapprove of would merely distress them and ruin my fun.
Would it be better not to sneak saddle time?
Of course.
Would it be better for the others if I had some self restraint around sugar?
Sure.
And?
Unfortunately, when you have me as a team mate, that’s part and partial to what I bring to the table. There are aspects of me that the family likes. There are aspects of me they like less.
Luckily, according to my daughter, the good still outweighs the bad -
just as long as I keep paying for the horse lease…
Do you have any bad habits / sneaky pleasures that others don’t like yet you delight in?
Are there aspects about you that those close to you find irritating that you proudly continue to do without any guilt or shame?
Me too.
Enjoy yourself.
Giddy up!
furtive white chocolate
Sometimes we enjoy ourselves in ways others don't understand or think is selfish.
Keep a bag of chocolate chips In a stash so no trip to the grocery store is needed. Keep it somewhere you can't get to. Prevent the harm, if you can and indulge yourself.
Your job isn't to be perfect. Not even close. It's to have joy. And sometimes our joy disappoints others. Tell them the line forms here. Tell them with your mouth full of chocolate chips while you ride a horse.