from skid marks to turd piles

a trollish take on waste

Who do you dear reader find most hilarious?

Me?

I love skid marks.

There is nothing I like more than riding my bike through the dogs only part of the park at night and leave skid marks all over the place.

I do this because I know it will distress the puppy patrol.

There will be several people tomorrow morning in Shubie park pissing and moaning about the bi-cycles that were there last night and definitely put every dog on the planet in danger by breaking a rule.

They think they’re protecting their furr babies.

Me?

I think I’m merely kicking up dust in a big fucking dog toilet.

But as much as I find the puppy people piss me off, there are others who just hit my funny bone in all the most problematic places.

You see, I like to giggle.

I giggle constantly at those who are ‘conscious consumers’, those among us who tie their panties into knots about consuming or creating waste.

They make me giggle because that’s what we do.

We create bi-products.

As humans all we ever do is create waste.

You’ve done thi…