from sea shanties to sea shitting

and uncanny ways to use the can

Do you ever sit around and ask yourself: Yourself, how do people shit on a boat?

That is a question requiring a nuanced response. Where you shit depends on the size of the boat. On the ferry’s to Newfoundland, I believe it’s better to be bound. That ferry requires poop free passage. It doesn’t so much require one.

If you’re brave and like sitting in the urine or vomit of someone else, be my guest. Take a seat on one of those filthy stainless steel turd chuggers. Never poop on a ferry.

On a tall ship?

We had a composting shitter.

I have no idear where the compost was supposed to go.

(it’s not like there’s room for a garden on a tall ship)

Instead?

At night while underway, we’d hang our arse over the lifelines and deposit our droppings directly into the drink.

(think of it as an odd way to feed the whales)

The oddest thing however took place on land.

Well.

After being underway for two weeks, you’d get off the boat and everything was moving.

Even sitting down, while in port, I remember hanging on to the toilet for dear life.

How often have you been bucked off by a porcelain bull?

On thing that’s no bull at all?

Life on a ship is no place for bran.

Stay weird you fools.