from fist bumps to tepid tears

and farting into the void

I went to see my plumber today

The cartridge in our shower failed this morning and we had to turn the water off at the main.

Why does the plumbing fail and cat get sick on Good Friday when everything is closed?

Hey Jebus, you prick?

Yaman?

You messin’ with me again?

Yaman, whadda you think this easter shit is all about - one minute I’m dead the next minute, SURPRISE -the stones been moved and I’m gone.

Dude, you’re like the houdini of the gods eh?

Where do you think he learned that stuff ya dork?

Righ, Thanks Jebus.

So to celebrate killing his boy, god decided to fuck with me.

A plumbing failure on a day when all of the hardware stores are closed is definitely evidence of an omnipotent god leaning into his arsehole side.

Luckily, I’ve got a buddy who is a plumber.

He was working on a big project in a fancy part of town.

Dude. Do you have a cartridge for a Moen shower?

Yaman, I’ve got one in a truck. Come on over.

I was there in half an hour - brought him some eggs as a way of saying thanks.

I asked …