From board stretchers to buttfors
and a visit to the long stand
The cut was wrong.
My granddad screwed up.
Frustrated, he hollered at Stephen,
Stephen! Go into the garage and get me the board stretcher.
Stephen was the new guy. Stephen did as he was told. My granddad needed time to ground his frustration. Legend has it, Stephen searched high and wide for almost twenty minutes before returning to admit failure.
Stephen fell for it. There’s no such thing as a board stretcher.
Nor is there a long stand or a long weight (wait). That’s what we used to do with new, rookie staff at one of the restaurants I worked at. We’d send them to the bar next door to ask the bartender for either a long stand or a long weight (wait)
They’d get what they came for. They’d stand there. They’d wait.
It was hazing. It was a double layer of status games, it drew from both dominance games - they had do what they were told, they were new, and success games - any veteran restaurant staff wouldn’t fall for this one.
It was a test that kept us safe as a group.
If the new staffer could came back laughing at themselves, they were included. If the new staffer came back angry, we went to work to get rid of them.
Celest was one such beast.
Celest didn’t like that game.
Celest was angry when she returned, horrified and mortified that she was mocked. Celest also didn’t like it when some people called everyone ‘guys’.
Celest tried to pay a virtue game on that one. She tried to assume high status by making the the established order that worked quite well, a problem.
Celest didn’t have much of a sense of humour. She couldn’t play and wanted to dominate us. She warmed up to the managers, but really put on a show for the corporate people.
Celest was getting traction.
Celest and her virtue game had to go.
With that in mind, we got rid of her.
Not through violence or virtue, but by lowering her status so much through constant pranks and goof ups that there was no room for her games of virtue to take root.
Fortunately for us, there were no mechanisms in place that supported Celest’s power play. Celest wanted her games of virtue to dominate the games that were in place before her arrival.
Celest didn’t want to play along.
Theses power plays exist in every workplace.
New players arrive and attempt to establish their story / game dominance over the preexisting order. When that happens, the preexisting order pushes back.
Sensitive leaders know that when they arrive, though they have positional power, they don’t have status. Celeste had neither the positional authority by the structure, nor the virtue status of her University friends community.
Celest failed because Celest was a bull in her status games. She failed because even if she wanted to change the culture, she began with dominance and virtue rather than through dancing her way up the cultural status pole. She lacked sensitivity and tact to make change happen.
One of the best status games we can play is to help elevate the status of others. This gives them a status lift in the world and a status lift for ourselves.
Win win right?
Tomorrow, I start as a rookie in a new workplace. I’m on set shooting a television show called Behind the Scenes. There we’re going behind the scenes of some of Nova Scotia’s most visible places to introduce the world to the people who keep Nova Scotia working.
In the show, my job is to elevate the status of the unknow, unsung, everyday heroes that you never get to see. They’re the experts. They’ll be teaching me what happens and what they do. The cameras will bring the show to you.
A culture amongst the crew exists. Though I’m not anticipating hazing, I’m going to be super sensitive to the preexisting culture.
I’m hoping to be sent next door for a long stand.
Or a buttfor.
Hazing doesn’t happen as it used to. It was a status game that was played too tightly for too long. And every group has its own version of hazing, onboarding, intake - call it what you will.
Where you spend your time, what kind of status games exist to noobs?
Are they explicit or implied?
What’s most important - dominance, virtue or success?
I hope you don’t say virtue and dominance - that’s what powers cults. That’s what powered the inquisition but I’ll talk more about that later this week.
What’s a buttfor?
Reasons why I am optimistic. #42 Young people are nicer than they were 20 years ago and much nicer than they were 40 years ago.
When new people come to my workplace, I let them know I know poo, like how you fix the copier and I am happy to answer their questions. It's a pay it forward on behalf of the nicer people who helped me, all of whom have retired. The last one just retired in June. I miss them dearly.
I have not played jokes on people as described. I had two older brothers. I was merely the pet-like creature that you couldn't kill and bury in the back yard. They did everything possible to mock me and destroy my stuff and would threaten anyone else who dared to do the same things.
I expect you'll have some laughs. If there is any hazing, let me know. I know you won't. You are looking forward to the bonding even if it is with superglue. Most jokesters have wives and I find wives and mothers can curb that behaviour with a wave of their hand. Or a cuff to the head.
At least Mom could.