for a smooth ride

and endless delight

My wife and I hate forests.

Stupid forests. So full of trees.

To help with our forest problem, we - well I wrap up a bunch of shit that she buys for herself that’s likely something consumable like deodorant or hairsomethingorother.

I always wrap it.

I use lotsa paper.

I use more tape.

You know, I like to watch her

Open presents.

Creepy?

Yes.

Sorry

I like to watch her open presents.

So I wrap up all kinds of stuff for her and she does this for me.

So I’m a man in need.

I’m a man in need of butt butter.

That’s right.

Butt butter.

No, this is not some sort of cracker topping for fet-a-shits

And despite the title?

Completely vegan.

It’s a kind of lubricant and moisturizer that you spread all over your ass and balls so you don’t get chaffed.

Warning. Do not spread vegans all over your ass and balls as they may lead to chafe.

So I was shopping for ass lube

As one does when one rides a bicycle for a very long time and does not like a blistered bottom.

And at Jeffrey’s place?

There are two versions of the same bum…