Linkedin is a giant pain in the ass.

The virtue and perfection flags fly proudly there in every post. The definitions of ‘professional culture’ are incredibly corporate and tend towards conformity of thought and control. I find it just as gross as any of the other platforms.

What’s worse, it’s the preferred platform for local people to try to sell to me. I’m a shopper. My mom’s a shopper. My dad’s a shopper. My kids? They’re good little shoppers too.

As shoppers, we take the role of ‘informed consumers’. We tend to persue things that are within our scope of interest, not things that others think we should consider.

Cue the financial planners.

Linkedin is a rats nest of financial planners and insurance people. Holy shit am I ever not interested in purchasing products that support these industries. I hold my nose and deal with the insurance criminals. I tend to avoid banks and the investment world as if it were the plague.

Why?

It doesn’t fucking work. Investing in stocks seems like a great way to support billionaires by joining them in their practices for extracting wealth. If I had funds to invest, I would invest directly in a local business. When you invest in the markets, the bulk of the gains go to New York, Toronto, London or any of the other global centres of capital.

Those people can feel free to get lost to the bottom of the ocean permanently.

Really? Yes. All them all. Hedge fund managers? To hell with them. I don’t want a dime of mine going that way. Ditto any fund managers. They can all go find ways to pleasure themselves with inserted umbrellas. And the shareholders that I’d be joining No thank you. I do not wish to join the ranks of exploitative global capital. Though I participate, I like doing it as little as possible.

So what does this have to do with Linkedin? I find that it’s a place now to be spammed by financial advisors seeking connection requests. I always accept. And. I’m always disappointed. If life were a dating app, they’re just there to fuck. And the ‘connection requests’? About as welcome as dick pics.

Oh how mean I feel writing such words. They’re really interested in getting me talking about me. When I do that, I feel so comfortable. And wouldn’t you know, I feel more comfortable with them. It’s almost as though they’re a friend. It’s almost as though I could trust them!

Oh how clever.

But.

When done well, chatting with these charlatans is a pleasant enough experience. My approach to financial planning I call the Oak Island model. Do not invest in any stock markets. What you do is you invest in land. Lots of land. Then? You save money in cash and burry it in a hole somewhere on your land. Start telling stories about losing your money. Watch them morph over time to be stories of pirate treasure.

Wait two or three hundred years. Have your relatives either 1: find the cash and instantly sell it to wealthy currency collectors. or 2: create a theme park / television show based around finding the treasure.

Needless to say, when it comes to financial matters I’m less than enthusiastic / interested than some believe that I ought to be.

Anyway, I usually ignore the inbox bleed and let the messages build up. One person was particularly persistent - so much so that his most recent message warranted a response. He said:

James, I just checked out your profile. Looks like you've built a great career! Have the last couple of years changed your perspective on anything?

Excuse me? I’ve built a great career. I think he may have had his eyes closed or was watching fireworks when he checked out my profile. My headline says: Fool Seeks Lear. My pronouns are set to “Remarkable Fool”.

I’m not taking any of that Linkedin stuff seriously at all. It’s a place where this blog gets auto posted. I post there as a joke to myself.

Then, he follows with this doozie:

I just scrolled through a few of your posts - some great reads and successes in there! What's been top of mind lately for you?

No. They did not read any of it. I took some time to view their profile because I think a bot would have done a better job. All of my articles are about failure. Most of my featured posts there in some way link to learning from failure. This dude couldn’t have been more wrong.

The dude was working a cold call formula that’s purely industrial. It works on numbers. Most things do. But he was using generic phrases with me in attempts to make a connection. He was pretending to make an effort to meet me.

I replied to him:

Hi ____

Another odd note from you. I figured you’d fade away by now.

You asked about successes? That seems to indicate that you're not reading any of my posts. I get it. I get the 'farm linkedin' for client development gig. I'm super conservative with my money. I only put it in real estate and my mattress.  I might be interested in talking sometime but everything I've noticed seems to point to a minimum effort to connect not out of genuine interest but with the ulterior motive of getting investment money from me.  That's cool. And your approach feels a bit like getting a dick pic on a dating site. Read my newsletter for a while, demonstrate that you're actually interested in my work and we can talk. Until then I feel like I'm being marketed to, not connected with.  Good luck dude! Jim

I don’t think that things need to be this way. In fact I know there is are better ways. I learned about one case this week.

While shooting Behind the Scenes at Tri-Star Industries, Keith, the founder, told me about selling ambulances in Iraq. He was told: If you want to do business here, you need to get to know us. You need to take your time, get to know our families. Spend time with us. The business deals come as a result of and side effect of the relationship. You Americans do it the other way around.

If you’re going to build a business based on relationships, don’t bullshit because we’re all bullshitters and we smell it miles away. If you’re going to say to someone: I checked out your stuff actually check out their stuff. Let them know you know about coaching hockey, or doing taxes for people who don’t like banks.

If you’re in a relationship based business and you’re looking to make new connections, put some bloody effort into the connections. Care enough to actually do what you said you did.

To quote Seth:

Action

Creates

Trust.

Go act. Make it happen

I’m devoting 2023 to finding and registering the Remarkable Fools of the world. For Remarkable Fools, what was once an embarrassing or awkward, is now a thrilling leap to a life more fulfilling. How will we find the fools? A series of pop up live talk shows where the audience are also the guests. Highly interactive and playful, you’ll laugh till you cry or cry till you laugh.