do you really need to tell them that

what are you looking for when you tell them?

My sister and I used to fight a lot when we were kids.

I was an asshole to her.

As an ‘older brother’ I did not want to share. I wanted boundaries. She seemed to like to push my boundaries.

Though if you asked her, that was never the case.

Since then though, I’ve been vigilant in protecting my side.

My side of the sofa.

My side of the car.

My side of the story.

People really seem to like sides.

We take sides and hold on tightly to them.

Even when falling in love I was not able to let go of my ‘sides’ obsession. My wife loves to tell people about how early in our relationship I drew an invisible line down the middle of the bed and said - This is my side, that’s yours. Please don’t cross the line while we sleep.

We weren’t even living together yet. I had certain expectations around touch and they didn’t go well with sleep.

Over time though, I’ve grown soft. I’m less concerned with my side. I’m less vigilant about my boundaries. The boundaries are still there. These days though? I’m more willing…