dear america

puck off eh?

It’s good to know what it’s like being a lunatic.

I’ve not thought much of the ape in the south.

Until today.

Today it hit me.

I felt insecure, hysterical rage.

I hated everything American.

And it’s all because of one man.

Imagine being at a party and there’s some dude just whipping his dick out for the sake of whipping his dick out.

And he’s not just whipping his dick out.

He’s whipping his dick out and spinning it around like the pasties on those burlesque revival ladies.

And as it spins he’s pissing everywhere.

He’s like a nine dicked dog whose lose all control and is drinking from a fire hose.

There’s fucking fat lab puppy piss spraying everywhere.

That fucker looks like an incredibly obese golden lab buthrut because you interrupeted him whilst eating your underpants.

Can you imagine?

So many of us Canadians are looking for ways to limit our exposure to the United States right now.

A lot of us don’t trust the system you have to hold.

That’s not what we’re afraid of losing.

Take my oil, please!

B…