It’s good to know what it’s like being a lunatic.
I’ve not thought much of the ape in the south.
Until today.
Today it hit me.
I felt insecure, hysterical rage.
I hated everything American.
And it’s all because of one man.
Imagine being at a party and there’s some dude just whipping his dick out for the sake of whipping his dick out.
And he’s not just whipping his dick out.
He’s whipping his dick out and spinning it around like the pasties on those burlesque revival ladies.
And as it spins he’s pissing everywhere.
He’s like a nine dicked dog whose lose all control and is drinking from a fire hose.
There’s fucking fat lab puppy piss spraying everywhere.
That fucker looks like an incredibly obese golden lab buthrut because you interrupeted him whilst eating your underpants.
Can you imagine?
So many of us Canadians are looking for ways to limit our exposure to the United States right now.
A lot of us don’t trust the system you have to hold.
That’s not what we’re afraid of losing.
Take my oil, please!
But we have something else that’s more valuable than oil now and will be for the rest of time.
It’s just a little less greasy
We have water.
Lots of fucking fresh water.
Delicious, cold, fire putting out fresh water
We currently share the Great Lakes with the Americans.
Share.
These days though the dance of the nine dicked dog is leaving us feeling soggier than the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
We are not a ‘property’ to be annexed by cohesion.
We are a bunch of beavers who have crossbreed with moose and gophers to make us incomprehensibly cute and powerful
So I’m trying to use Canadian things.
Substack is an American owned thing.
I want to find a Canadian owned thing.
I have not left substack yet.
And as soon as I find a Canadian owned similar product, I will be migrating there. As a reader?
You’ll have the same reading experience - well.
The newsletter will look similar.
It might not have the same ‘like comment blah blah blah.’
You won’t use the app.
But it will be fine.
I just need to do a little work.
And that’s what we all need to do here.
When you remove Canadian oil from the picture, we Canadians import more than we export regard to the United States. We buy your high value, manufactured stuff.
We did.
Now?
We’re looking elsewhere
They want more access to our dairy, insurance and health care markets. They want us to become what a state? LOL. Give PEI two Senate seats?
Nope.
Anyway,
Sorry
I’m not going to go all Canadian all the time here.
That’s enough Canadia for ya eh?
Despite this, I am going to look for some Canadian owned platforms.
And thanks to the big orange speck of gonorrhea in the anal glands of a wombat piece of rat feces who likes picking fights with his friends I feel more Canadian than I have in a long time.
Love the people who love you
And fuck the fucking fuckers.
Buy Canadian eh?