call me matt

disarmed and leg-less

Oh my arms!

Are they rubber bands or cooked fettuccine?

Strength sapped, they have become noodly in nature. They are dehydrated, that’s certain. Perhaps they’ll end up like once cooked noodles that have dried again. Will they disintegrate? Will they fall off?

Could a special blend of sun, salt water and exhaustion create a new kind of leprosy? would I be patient zero? I can just imagine myself at the hospital surrounded by interns and researchers. This is the first case we have witnessed of surf induced leprosy.

Maybe they’d be generous and name the affliction after me. Another case of James’ syndrome? That’s the twentieth this month! Will these surfers ever cease?

Between the joy of each wave I caught AND the fame from having a disease named after me, losing an arm or two would likely worth it. Besides, missing a limb wouldn’t be too bad would it? It’s a bit of a price to pay, but people pay an arm and a leg for a lot worse.

Given how surfing impacts arms everywhere, it’s likely how we…