What if?

That’s a great question.

What if, infinity is more than a concept,

What if everything that could exist, does exist on one of an infinite number of realities?

That would be pretty damn rad.

What if, just by imagining a reality, we create it for one of another infinite versions of ourselves, that despite not going to inhabit that reality, another version of ourself in another reality goes and does that stuff?

Many of us would be likely a lot more exciting or disturbing depending on either the day or our mood.

But me?

If infinity is more than a concept and infinite realities exist, I want to visit the one where everybody, every soul, every human has a time, a coming of age time where they meet the equivalent to Bob Barker on The Price is Right.

There, people are presented with three doors.

The three doors all give a person superpowers.

Door number one gives people the ability to avoid discomfort at any cost. This door opens into a smaller room with a smaller door. With every further door, the room gets smaller and further away and safer and smaller.

Sounds like a tight fit doesn’t it?

Nothing to worry about there! You get smaller too. It’s not that you shrink. The pressures of life remain the same. You get condensed. Eventually, if you move away and avoid enough there is a chance that you may either collapse under your own weight and form a black hole.

Or? You’ll reestablish the pre-universal singularity. Congratulations on being so incredibly thick and dense that you’ve made time move backwards and caused the collapse of the universe. Well done asshole.

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What about door number 2?

That’s an odd one as well.

You walk through the door, only to find yourself standing in the same place with all of the same people and same things and just a little bit older.

If you look back into the room you left, it’s the same as the room as you are in. There are the same three doors in both.

You keep picking a door that makes you feel like you’re moving but nothing changes. It’s a weird door.

Kinda like that Higgs Bosun thing. If you’re looking on one side of the door, everything is the same on both sides of the door. You may pass through the door continually but always end up exactly where you were.

Some find this disturbing and freak out so much they’re like an Olympic athlete doing laps. Same repetitive tasks, only faster, with more technique.

Some people get really comfortable there and just live their life as groundhog day. All of the same joys and irritations without rocking the boat much at all. It’s nice work if you can get it.

Door number three is a bit of a problem

It opens into a bigger room. There are three doors like the last time. One door is now labeled though. It has a sign. The sign reads: Towards. This door is bigger than the other two. When you go through it, you enter an even larger space. There you find an even bigger door with two smaller ones. What’s behind that bigger door?

It’s difficult to say at first. This door is too big. You can’t reach the door knob. Not to worry. You grow. This takes place so quickly that you burst, shattering the old you like a brittle old plate. It’s messy. You experience a lot of pain. Eventually after a few waves of moulting, you reach the handle.

Well done. Walk through and what do you see? Three more doors.

And then?

Bob Barker kicks you in the ass and tells you to spay and neuter your pets and a nation judges you for choosing different doors than they did.

The moral of this story?

When creating multiple universes, do not give so much power to retired Television presenters.