There are three main types of farts: Blushers, rushers and flushers.
A blusher is one that you want to hold back but can’t. Sometimes they are loud when the situation calls for quiet - think of someone crinkling up a water bottle as your great uncle Larry gets lowered into the ground.
Others just seem to sneak out stealthily. This is fine for church or any other crowd. But if there are only two of you and you slide out a slinky slimy stinker? They’re going to know it was you.
Be careful though, these quite ones too can be ‘blushers’ - even in crowd. This happens when there’s a fart detective present. The fart detective is that friend who smells the fart and INSISTS on finding the culprit. They sniff the air, make disgusted faces and ask questions aggressively.
Fart detectives feast on the shame and embarrassment of others. You’ll find them in any workplace. At team meetings, they delight in pointing out who let them down, who didn’t get things done and who came up short. They love correc…
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