Before you fight

how will you make up?

Perhaps one of the most surprising things I hear in my work with people comes up when they tell me about the disagreements and arguments they have. What’s surprising is neither the content nor context of the friction. I’m surprised by their surprise.

Actually, it’s not surprising at all. It’s foolish to be surprised that you get into fights and disagreements with people. It’s absurd to think that your partner will neither let you down nor disagree. Conflict is part of life. The story in my head is not the same as the story in your head. Nor should it be.

A remarkable fool knows that neither they, nor their spouse / partner / cooworker / boss are perfect. Conflict is inevitable. As such, remarkable fools plan for conflict.

A remarkable fool doesn’t plot out a strategy to annhiliate the other in order to dominate the conflict. Conflict drives people apart. Conflict creates a desire that sets a direction of action. Conflict regularly drives people apart. Remarkable fools make plans with p…