be dangerous take risks

go do shit that will make those with bad boundaries uncomfortable

That Skippy’s a smart one.

I wonder if someone’s done this before.

I had to look

I looked and I found the Neptune sixteen person pedal party pub boat.

The bastards have a whole business model around their bikes.

What’s more, slick Ricky told me that someone has these bikes on the South Shore and is offering tours on them already.

It’s at times like this I feel like Trey Stone Matt Parker wrote The Simpsons Did It… episode. Each time the kids attempted something or tried a gag, Stan would loudly say The Simpsons did it, referring to the fact that the animated behemoth had basically crossed every line and tried every gag even before South Park was established.

The problem though?

This boat isn’t a ‘whirligig’. It’s manufactured, not created like some giant animated scrap heap.

There are no mis matched parts and poor welding jobs. Everything is clean and coordinated. There are no odd things to cut yourself on. Everything is safe.

It’s fucking gross - everything as safe boring and uniform as an insurance company’s recreation room.

There’s no fun in having some sort of surf bike pedal boat if there no chance that it sinks.

There’s no point in creating such a beast if you get on it with absolute certainty that you’ll come home dry.

The point of the surf bike was that you fell off of them.

The point of the surf bike is that you’d likely need to be rescued by something more sea worthy.

I fucking hate boring people

I hate safety shit and the neo Victorian safety culture that’s so present here. It really has nothing to do with safety and everything to do with fucking ninnies who love social control.

In order to protest the Disnification and bubble wrapping of the world, I’m more determined than ever to build a better multi person water bike.

My version will be more dangerous, more likely to tip and less likely to work

And?

It will be fundamentally more fun.

Go play in traffic.

Go climb a fence, cut down a tree or juggle chainsaws.

Take a shit in the middle of a road if you must but protest this shit!

Do whatever you can to disrupt the standardization and safety culture that’s near you.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

And knowing that someone could get hurt?

That makes the lead up even more fun.