bald truths and tough cookies
ringing the bell in the chemo ward
Tragedies are revealing.
When things are truly tragic, things change in ways that don’t turn back.
When my wife was in chemo, the tragedy wasn’t her illness so much.
Her cancer was improbable. She was and continues to be a statistical anomaly. I would likely extend this into all other aspects of her life. I’m not certain whether after they made her, they broke the mold, or if the mold was broken before they poured her in.
I’m not saying that she’s disfigured.
It’s not like she’s got arms coming out where her legs should be.
She’s just a bit weird, that’s all.
Before you judge me too harshly, remember:
She married me.
If she’s reincarnated, she hopes to come back to less vile existence as a factory farmed chicken.
Luckily, we’re all a little off.
This foolsletter has also gone a little off as well.
With that in mind, let’s cheerily read our way back to the cancer.
One of the bigger losses during her illness was a loss of friends.
There were some who just could not hang with us. We were in a shit place. The cancer family is never a fun one to go visit. Some of our friends could not, would not and did not reach out.
They disappeared from our lives like the hair of a chemo patient who lived long enough to ring the bell.
I don’t blame them.
That would be foolish.
There’s lots in the world that I can’t handle. There’s a lot that I don’t want to see. Pretty much anything about international affairs right now has lost me. I’ve disappeared.
To those friends who I’ve lost?
So long. I understand you don’t want to watch or participate in what’s going on around here. I get it. There’s a lot I’m trying to ignore too.
Given the shit in the world, there’d likely be less of it if we could allow others to ignore our pain.
This would be helpful when it comes to focus.
For at the same time that people were turning their back on us in ways that were surprising and painful, we were being delighted at our good fortune.
We were surrounded by love. People we never expected stepped up in ways that were unimaginable.
We experienced love and goodness.
I was consistently shocked silent by the outpouring of generosity we experienced.
Perhaps someone, somewhere is stepping up in a surprising way with unrequested, unimaginable generosity.
I hope so.
And if so?
Thank you on behalf of my odd little family of broken mold people.